There’s still enough time to review your Christmas arrangements. Take the time to decide what youre definitely going to do differently this year. Remember, if you always do the same thing, you cant expect a different result!
Heres a plan for you and your partner to use well before Christmas, and during the festivities themselves.
1. Switch off the TV, put all phones on silent, light some candles, cook something easy or have a take-away. This how you start your Christmas preparations.
2. Indulge in a bit of daydreaming about what your ideal Christmas would be – just for fun. Think about your ideal location, ideal guest/celebrity, ideal food (forget about the staples). What would you want to see happening? What would you really like to get? How long would you really like it (whatever it means) to last, etc. …?
3. Brainstorm all the things you really do have to do – the things you dont have a choice about. This list is for the unavoidable musts. Then see if you can add in anything youve written down for point 2 above.
4. Consider telling your family and/or friends that youd much prefer to spend some special time with them during a weekend in the dark month of January. That way youd have something to look forward to after the holiday season.
5. Review my list of expectations at the beginning of this article. Make a list of tasks and break those up into individual steps, so that you have some clarity on what exactly is required.
6. Divvy up the tasks and make lists for both of you or all of you – if you have children – to make clear whos responsible for what.
7. Work out together who you both might want or need to help out – or visit – for whatever reason. Giving time can be more valuable than any present at any price. If you can really commit to it, youll gain tremendously yourself by cheering up someone else. If you do it with a sulky attitude, its just going to feel like hard work. Lovingly helping someone else will also take the focus off your own troubles for a while.
8. If on Christmas day your partner (or someone else) hasnt fulfilled their task, whatever you do – dont go on about it! Its not worth a row, at least not at that time. Lower all your expectations and be grateful for whatever it is thats good and goes well. Make a point of looking out for those things.
9. Accept from the start that its very likely youre going to fail in at least someones eyes, if not your own. Oh well� you and everyone else will recover! Just agree that, whatever happens, the two of you are going to make Christmas the best you can manage.
10. If your house is full or you are staying with other people, plan for the two of you to spend some quality time together as often as possible. That might be with an early night, a stroll to the park, a midnight feast, an early morning start, or any other way to escape children, family and/or friends (however much you love them!). Itll help to anchor you and your relationship and give you time to discuss and problem-solve any potential issues. Oh… and stay in touch with each other via Romantic Text Messages – even if you share the same house!
Under no circumstances discuss any of the above when either one of you is under the influence of alcohol!
