Welcoming the New Year is like turning a fresh new leaf in the chapter of your life. If you are single, then the New Year can also bring you a lot of new hope in finding love. However, if you have been dating last year but not successful, maybe it is time that you avoid doing the same dating mistakes so that you can find someone for the New Year. Below are the epic dating fails that you need to know and how to avoid them.
Rejecting Rejection
Rejection is God’s protection.” This means if someone isn’t that into you, there’s a reason you’re not meant to end up together. Acknowledge the protection against this mismatch and move on! Better things are waiting for you on the other side.
Flirting Wrong
A good way to find out if someone likes you is to adopt the Patti Stanger signature five-second flirt. It works like this: Let’s say I’m at a bar and I see a cute guy. The first thing I need to remember is that I can get the guy. I have everything I need to be attractive to him; all I have to do is signal that I’m open to talking to him, and he’ll come right over. So what do I do? I look in his direction, smile, and hold his gaze for five seconds. It seems like a lot, but it’s a non verbal signal that I’m interested, and it puts this man in the driver’s seat. They love that seat. If it works, he’ll cross the room and ask if he can buy me a drink. If it doesn’t work, it’s because I’m either not his type or he’s taken, gay, or the passive-aggressive type who wants me to come to him. I don’t like that type, so I move on.
Prioritizing a love Interest over yourself
If a man is not making space for you in his life or constantly requiring that you come to him, prioritize yourself and hold your ground. Losing yourself is far riskier than losing this stranger.
Going For Quantity Over Quality
Who is getting this right? According to Patti, it’s the late-20s and early 30s crowd. “Millennials are wise in how they spend their time. They’re teaching us quality over quantity. They’re making the rules and going at their own pace. They’re doing things like freezing their eggs so men don’t have home-court advantage.”
Ignoring Red Flags
I’m a firm believer that people tell you exactly who they are, but it’s your job to listen. If you ignore deal-breakers, you’re assigning yourself a longer sentence than necessary with someone who wasn’t worth your time to begin with. When you spot a red flag, instead of ignoring it, celebrate the fact that you found out early and then get out as quickly as possible.
Being Afraid to Ask Questions
If the five-year-plan question is too much for you, a far less inquisitive question can also get you plenty of information. Patti suggests, “Asking something as simple as ‘what’s your favorite restaurant?’ can show what kind of person you’re dealing with. If your date says In-N-Out, that’s an indicator that this guy isn’t going to take you on nice dates; that might be an issue for you.”
Caring Too Much
You can’t be in total control of your love life, and you have to give a little bit over to the inexplicable in order for magic to happen. To do this, Patti says you must focus on you. “Your mind has to be clear. Love is not an outside job; it’s an inside job. The more you work on yourself, the better you are at love.” look for ways to simply exhale the things you cannot control and focus that energy on self-care instead.
Keeping Unrealistic Expectations
Patti reminds us, “You need to take expectations down a notch. If you have too many expectations around height, weight, income, etc., your limitations need an adjustment.” She also warns, “The older we get, the more used to it we get. You may want a partner, but your list of criteria has become so long that no one is ever going to fit the bill.” Instead, Patti suggests you drop the list and just focus on how your love interest makes you feel.
Mixing Up Nice-to-Haves and Need-to-Haves
Maybe it’s not what you expected, but that’s OK. Focusing on how someone makes you feel is a great way to reset and ask yourself to truly identify your nice-to-haves vs. your need-to-haves.
Shifting deal breakers
Deal-breakers are real, and if someone makes you feel great but doesn’t want kids, smokes, or something else you can’t live with, be honest about that with yourself. Just keep your expectations in check and ask yourself what you’re willing to work through and what truly won’t ever work for you.
Feeling the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)
One of the biggest dating mistakes that people do is that they have an unexplainable fear of missing things out thus they find themselves jumping from one dating scene to the other. Of course, there are a lot of single people out there ready for your picking but with this particular mindset, you will not be able to settle with someone who might be a great match for you. In fact, this behavior might be the reason why you have let go of the right person for you.
Many millennials live very fast-paced lives because of the fear of missing out, but they eventually feel unhappy with their choices. So if you want to change your attitude so that you can be successful with dating for the new year, make sure that you recognize that you have a dating FOMO and deal with it. Take your time in dating other people. Remember that there are plenty of fishes in the sea but the one reserved for you is someone out there. The only way to draw them is for you to take your time looking for them.
So if you are unlucky in love this year, make sure that you avoid these habits when dating. By doing so, you will have better success with your dating endeavors. Have a hopeful and attractive new year ahead of you. Good luck finding your partner next year.
