Missing someone can include anything from remembering a memory shared with that person to a deep yearning for someone who is no longer in your life.
Given the spontaneity of all those missing-somebody-sensations, you might just shrug your shoulders and give up on trying to do anything about it, but Hargons suggests otherwise. “As with all feelings, identifying them and allowing yourself to feel them helps you process the emotion. “In the end, processed emotions are more likely to pass and not keep you stuck in a cycle of behaviors used to prevent yourself from feeling.”
But that doesn’t mean what helps you process your emotions in one situation (missing your cross-country bestie) will work in another (yearning for your first love), she adds. “Since there are so many reasons why you might miss someone, each requires an intentional response.”
Reach out to him by text, call, or social media, and let them know they crossed your mind. Sure, it sounds like the obvious choice. But think about it: How many times have you thought about reaching out to someone and never ended up doing it?
Sorry, but it’s not the thought that counts here. Instead, once you do get to chatting again, make plans to visit each other, Hargons suggests, and get some virtual hangs on the cal in the meantime. You might start a monthly virtual book club, or cook the same meals at your respective homes and eat together over video call until you can do so face-to-face. Making concrete plans for some QT will make you (both) feel better.
Sometimes, loss feels too personal for group discussion, and that’s okay. Leave them alone. Really, it’s as simple as that. It might sound harsh, but she’s adamant. For whatever reason, this person’s decision to separate themselves from you for good, and you have to accept that. “If you’re having trouble processing those feelings by your yourself, hit up your therapist for help.
